yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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