Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
