"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
