Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
