Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
