You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
