I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
