I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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