Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
