TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
