he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
