nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
