this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
