dude i'm inner monologue high
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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