What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
