Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
