I wish I could teleport
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
