I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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