this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
