Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
