Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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