i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
