He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
