Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
