So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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