every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My penis needs a shock collar
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
