My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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