okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
what day is it and did you see me today?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
