So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
