Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
