Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
