Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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