trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
