So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
