lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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