that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
