okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
