We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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