well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
