omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
