Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
