Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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