quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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