Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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