Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
