Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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