Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
