well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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