we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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