Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
