Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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